Happy New Year to myself, a year older but none the wiser.
Happy New you dear ex lover. How’s the new bloke? Hope you break up soon.
Happy New Year you false friend. I know what you’ve been up to. Expect no mercy.
Happy New Year dear best friend. Haven’t seen you in a while, but there’s no one like you. Hope to meet you soon.
Happy New Year dear crush. I know you know I like you and I know you don’t like me like that. Yet you are always there, my sword and my shield.
Happy New Year you spineless bastard. You only care about the birthday treat and are absent the following year. Hope you stay away this year.
Happy New Year to you New Year. Bring some happiness to my life, would you?